Oh Canada!

Ok..
so even though I have a lot to say about a lot of different things and pictures that I have STILL not uploaded, I really wanted to share something with you guys.

After working at the hostel for 4 months now I have come up with a very interesting conclusion that never EVER crossed my mind before. Canada is AWESOME!!!! French canadians....Canadians in general are really awesome people. Ive NEVER had a problem with Canadians. They are so laid back they are easy to talk to, super friendly and most of all never compain (as opposed to French people). Nothing is ever a problem. I have to switch rooms? No problem!!!!!!!!! Oh you want to give my bed away because you want to put 2 friends in the same room?? Yeah thats cool NOOO problem!!!!! ITS NEVER A PROBLEM!!! Canadians dont cause problems.. and are so helpful and friendly......

You know after having been in Paris for 4 months.. so much has changed. My view of Paris in general has changed. YES it DOES smell... YES it IS so bloody dirty.. YES french people ARE annoying, grumpy, angry, too much in a hurry all the time, stressed out and totally unhelpful, NO it IS not the most beautiful city in the world. (Ok yes.. central Paris is so incredibly gorgeous... but the rest NOPE)... I use to think the opposite. Ok maybe the fact that I have been working for 50 days straight might have an impact because all i do is work and sleep and get to do nothing... which in return is making me homesick but I definitely dont feel the same anymore. When people ask me how Canada is.... I have nothing but positive things to say. That Montreal is gorgeous that people are friendly and helpful. Then, when I start to compare my life in Paris and my life back home, I realise just how great my life is back home and how incredibly happy I am surrounded by everyone that I love. Right now, I feel like I am becoming someone I dont want to be. Granted I am exhausted, but I still feel like I have to be rude all the time to get around. If you want some service you almost have to be rude and I am not a rude person and I never want to be. I have to be rude to people in the street because they keep trying to talking to me and I just cant stand it. Some weird french guys come into the hostel all the time just to get coffee and just start to small talk and I just CANT STAND it and answer in just the rudest way possible... why?? I dont know!!!!! but I definitely dont like it and dont like who I am becoming. I think.. hopefully when I get to rest.. everything will be better. The only thing that helps me right now when I feel this way is walking to the eiffel tower. When I stare at that tower it just reminds me of WHY I am here and it sort of revives my love for the city.
I have to admit.. and IT IS HARD TO ADMIT.. but it breaks my heart to say that I am a little disappointed by Paris. It breaks my heart because for over a year I was soo excited to get here and was just waiting for the day to arrive and now that I am here it is not like I expected. I am working WAY too much to be able to enjoy myself. I have about 2 more months on my work contract and before she will make me sign another one I will tell her that I cant continue like this. I would want to work 3-4 days Maximum. The good news is I have saved up a lot of money!! Which I will be able to use when I get some time off to travel! I think having my mom and dad over in 1 month and going to travel with my sister in September will also help a little bit. i think the hardest part of it all is admitting it to myself. Do I think I made a mistake by coming here? No... not at all. In fact I think it is the best thing that could happen to me because I have never in my whole life ever been so proud to be canadian... i know it sounds lame and geeky and too patriotic but im so damn proud! Living away from home just made me realised how awesome canada is and how there isint another country that I would want to spend the rest of my life in (mixed in with a lot of travelling of course). The mentalities between the 2 are completely opposite and I relate more and enjoy more the canadian way than the French... well maybe not ALL the french but definitely the Parisians.
Is it going to make me come home earlier? I dont think so.. I think that if REALLY i cant handle it anymore I will just leave and travel. Do somzthing I truly enjoy and am happy in doing and most of all I can be myself.
Well... I just thought I would share this... which im sure my mom will be happy to hear that her baby is not moving away from home...
I hope that all is well with everyone!!!!!!!
Big hugs and kisses to alll!!!!!!!!
Gen